


A Christmas Wish

by thewolfatmydoor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-04-21 08:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22053496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolfatmydoor/pseuds/thewolfatmydoor
Summary: It's Christmas in the bunker. God is gone. Jack is back. Sam has Eileen now. Will Dean finally get what he wants for Christmas?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67





	A Christmas Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My TFW 3.0 babes!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+TFW+3.0+babes%21).

> I wanted to get this posted for Christmas, but real life got in the way and I ended up being ill and just couldn't concentrate, so this is a few days late but oh well. This is for all my girls in TFW 3.0. This year has been a blast getting to know y'all. I look forward to many more with you guys as my friends and found family.
> 
> Belated Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, and as it is New Year's Eve for me now HAPPY NEW YEAR. I hope 2020 brings you all lots of love and happiness!

The freak snow storm had hit around three that afternoon.  
  
Jack had come running in excited about the snow. Sam following quickly after him trying to get him to lower his voice once he had figured out they weren’t under attack.  
Cas had been sitting in the library, where he had pretty much sequestered himself for the past few days, still unsure of his place in the bunker. Even after they had defeated God, and gotten Jack back, Cas didn’t feel certain in remaining here.  
  
He was glad that Sam now had Eileen back, she seemed to make Sam happy in a way that Cas had never truly seen the younger Winchester be. He was beyond happy to have Jack back with them, and he was even happy to see that after everything that happened the relationship between Jack and Dean was slowly being rebuilt. It was tentative but it was there, and for that Cas was grateful.  
  
Dean was still distant with him though, granted he was more open than he had been, but if they were left in a room on their own for more than a few minutes at a time he would become flustered and agitated and eventually he would disappear. Cas didn’t dare bring it up for fear of making things worse again and the tension was something he believed he would have to get used to if he was to stay in the bunker, and that wasn’t something he had decided on yet. He still lov…he still cared for Dean, more than he should after everything that had happened between them, but he had been in deep for many years now and it wasn’t something you could just turn off like a faucet.  
  
Sighing deeply to himself he tried to turn his thoughts back to happier things, being here to celebrate Christmas with Jack, and his fami… he rubbed his hands over his face. It was no use. Once the holidays were over he would have to take some time away. If for nothing else but to try and get over Dean before coming back here and being able to function like the newly fledged human he was.  
  
Right now though, he was here to celebrate Christmas, he was also worried about Dean. He had left the bunker earlier that day saying he had one last gift to purchase and that he would be back in a few hours what with it being Christmas Eve, but then the storm had started and it was now almost midnight.  
Dean had phoned Sam hours ago to say he was on his way home but that it was slow going and that he would get there when he got there because there was no way he was abandoning Baby out in the snow. He had apparently told everyone to sit tight and not worry, but now that Cas was human and without his grace he couldn’t sense Dean and it was troubling him. Surely he should have been back by now?  
  
He had wanted to go out earlier and search for him but Sam had stopped him before he’d even managed to pull his trench coat over one shoulder.  
  
“He’ll be fine Cas. Y’know Dean, he wouldn’t do anything to harm Baby. There’s no point in all of us going out and getting into trouble.”  
  
Cas had tilted his head at that, “What do you mean Sam?”  
  
Scoffing, Sam had replied, “D’ya really think we’d let you go out there on your own Cas?”  
  
“But Dean is on his own.”  
  
“Yes and Dean isn’t newly human Cas. He’ll be fine. He said he’d keep in touch if he couldn’t get home today.”  
  
Torn between relenting to Sam’s logic or going out anyway, Cas gave in when Sam tugged the trench coat from his grasp, “Come and watch a film with us. I’m sure Dean’ll be back before it’s done.”  
  
But he wasn’t, and now everybody was in bed sleeping soundly. Dean had phoned again an hour ago to say he shouldn’t be too much longer and that they should all head to bed, that he would see them in the morning. Cas had tried to sleep. He really had. But it still wasn’t a concept he was used to, and that alongside the worry kept him awake. He had tossed and turned for a while before finally giving in and making his way back to the ‘Dean Cave’ where he settled down in front of the tv waiting. It wasn’t long before he had drifted off.  
  
*****  
  
Dean pulled Baby into the garage, glad to have her finally back home safe and sound.  
In all honesty he had only expected to be gone for an hour or two tops, instead it took him almost nine hours to get back. The storm had hit when he wasn’t quite half way home and after half an hour of going slower and slower the ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow and he was driving at what felt almost like a stand still whilst he tried to avoid parked cars and other drivers who had also been caught unexpectedly. If he had been in any car other than Baby he would have pulled to the side of the road and walked home, but there was no way he would leave her outside in this. The weather was bad enough but he wouldn’t forgive himself if someone crashed into her. So he had forged onwards slowly. Very slowly.  
  
Pushing her door open he stretched his tired limbs as he clambered out. He let out a groan as he took in the snow that was still covering her and resigned himself to wiping her off before he could head to bed. Once he was sure she was clean and dry he made to leave the garage and head upstairs, patting his pockets he swore and turned back. Reaching into the front seat he grabbed the bag he had left there and finally made his way inside and towards his room.  
  
Noticing the faint glow and sound coming from the tv in his cave he stuck his head round the door wondering who could still be up at this time. Sam had told him when they last spoke that everyone was gonna head to bed, so Dean wasn’t expecting anyone to still be up.  
Unable to see anyone from the door he walked in the room to turn the tv off when he noticed Cas curled up on the couch sound asleep.  
  
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and he shook his head minutely. Reaching down he placed his hand on Cas’ shoulder and shook it gently, he was rewarded with a grunt and Cas trying to burrow further into the couch. Sighing quietly Dean grabbed the blanket from the back of his chair and draped it over his friend. He gently tucked the blanket around Cas, trying not to disturb him, and then before he could second guess himself he bent down and placed a soft kiss into Cas’ hair whispering, “Sleep well Angel” before turning the tv off and leaving the room.  
  
He made a quick pit stop at the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a leak before slipping quietly into his room and flopping face first onto his bed, clothes and all. He was asleep before he knew it.  
  
Christmas morning arrived a scant few hours later when Jack dashed into his room, Cas hot on his heels to try and stop him. Dean flung his arm out in surprise at the noise and hit Cas right in his stomach. Cas doubled up, cursing under his breath and Dean jumped into action reaching out to comfort him, his hand barely touched his back before Cas flinched away from him.  
He snapped his hand back like he had been burned, the ache that seemed to have taken up permanent residence behind his ribcage flared to life. Cas didn’t want him to touch him. Could anyone really blame him though, after everything?  
  
Jack’s timid voice broke them both out of their reverie, “Angry Bear,” he all but whispered to himself, then slightly louder, “I’m sorry Castiel, I forgot.” His nervousness at being in trouble with his dads showed through as he tapped out a beat against his thigh.  
  
“It’s ok Jack. I’m fine. Really.” Cas took hold of Jacks hand and tugged him towards the hallway, “Come on, let’s go and make some coffee for everyone ok?” Cas glanced back at Dean as he walked through the doorway, but Dean didn’t notice as he held his head in his hands.  
  
It wasn’t that Dean didn’t want to make things right, he was really trying, he just didn’t know how. The distance between them wasn’t closing, and if what just happened was anything to go by it was getting bigger. He wanted to talk to Cas. He wanted to say all the things he had never been able to say before, but talking to Sam was hard enough. How could he ever begin to convey his feelings to Cas when he couldn’t even be alone in the same room as him without his heart racing and his palms sweating and feeling like he was gonna hurl. He had hoped that his gift for Cas, the gift he had spent hours stuck in the snow for yesterday, would help him say what he needed to say, but now he wasn’t so sure. What if it was all too late? What if, even after Dean opened up his heart, Cas still rejected him? He didn’t know if he could ever recover from that.  
  
Shaking off the sadness Dean got out of bed and wrapped himself up in his dead guy robe before heading to the kitchen for his coffee.  
When he got there breakfast was already underway, Eileen had been busy cooking up a storm and Dean was so grateful that he wouldn’t have to cook that he almost forgot himself when Cas handed him a mug of steaming coffee, his hand reaching half way to Cas’ cheek before he remembered where he was and that he wasn’t allowed to do that. He dropped his hand back to his side and sighed as he turned away, “Thanks for the coffee’ he mumbled. He didn’t notice the way that Cas collapsed in on himself or the look of frustration at them both on Sam’s face.  
  
“Dean can we open…”  
  
“Jack, let Dean finish his breakfast before you sta…”  
  
“It’s fine Cas, really,” Dean glanced up at Cas whose mouth had snapped shut as soon as Dean had started speaking, “I’m good,” he turned to look at Jack, “What’s up Jack?”  
  
“It’s Christmas Dean.”  
  
Jacks very matter of fact answer had Dean letting out a loud laugh, and like everybody else had been waiting for that the tension in the room almost disappeared.  
  
“Y’know what kid? I think you might be right.”  
  
Jacks grin was so wide Dean couldn’t help the smile he felt creeping across his own face, he whipped his head towards Cas when he heard his friend huff out a small chuckle at the two of them, and his smile grew even bigger.  
  
“Didn’t ya want to ask me something Jack?”  
  
Jack looked between Dean and Cas, and then over towards Sam and Eileen who were stood close to each other watching the proceedings, their heads tilted in together.  
  
“They told me not to ask till you had finished breakfast,” Jack sighed heavily. Sometimes it was easy to forget that he was still so young, even after everything he had been through in his short life. His excitement that morning though was tangible and although Dean liked to play the grump sometimes he couldn’t string Jack along like that.  
  
“It’s ok kid. What’s up?”  
  
Jack quickly glanced at Cas again and Dean smiled as Cas nodded his head, a fond look making his features soft and warm. Something painful twisted in Dean’s chest, but he would deal with it later, now was a happy time with his family.  
  
“Can we open our presents please?”  
  
“We sure can kiddo,” and just like that Jack took off out of the kitchen making everyone laugh.  
  
“I guess we’d better follow him” Sam said as he took hold of Eileen’s hand, pulling her out of the kitchen and towards the map room.  
  
They had decided early on in the season that they would try to do Christmas right this year, so Sam and Dean had fetched a giant tree and the map room was the only place it fit comfortably. They had all helped to decorate it, and although there weren’t many decorations (this was their first year after all), the ones they did have looked beautiful. Dean was especially fond of the Angel tree topper – not that he was going to tell anyone else that.  
  
There were a few presents stacked up under the tree, and by the time they all made it into the room Jack was sitting on the floor ready to hand out the gifts to everyone.  
  
As everyone took their seats Dean gestured that Jack should start, he did his best to avoid looking at Cas, and he absolutely refused to notice how his hands were getting a little bit sweaty and his heart rate a little bit faster.  
  
It wasn’t long before something distracted him when he saw the gift Jack had just passed to Sam. Before Sam could start tearing into it he spoke up, “Uuummm. Yeh you might want to open that in the privacy of your own room Sammy.”  
  
“What? Why Dea…”  
  
“Let’s just say it isn’t particularly suitable for innocent eyes ok?” Dean raised his eyebrows pointedly at Sam, and then Eileen.  
  
Sam dropped his gaze, and then the gift, as a blush spread across his face. He quickly signed to Eileen that Dean had got them a joint gift and they should open it later. Eileen smiled widely and signed at Dean, “Thank you Dean. I’m sure we’ll have fun later.”  
  
Sam shook his head as Dean and Eileen sat grinning at each other. Dean was thrilled for his baby bro that he had someone as badass as Eileen, and as much as Sam tried to say they were just friends, he knew better. He was relieved he could joke around with her and tease Sammy. Now if only he could get his own love life sorted everything would be perfect.  
  
“I did get you both something family friendly as well, I’m not a total ass.” He watched as Jack handed them both separate parcels, he had splashed some big bucks on their gifts but after the past few years he thought they deserved it. He smiled quietly to himself as they unwrapped their gifts of sunhats, sunglasses, sunblock, matching beach wear etc.  
  
Sam looked up at him, the question clear on his face.  
  
“Look I just wanted you guys to have something nice ok. It has been a shi… um a terrible few years, and you deserve a break.”  
  
“Um, thanks Dean, but I don’t unde…”  
  
“Dig to the bottom of the box dude.”  
  
Sam scrabbled through all the packing materials in the box, withdrawing after his hand had landed on a reasonably thick envelope.  
He looked at Eileen who shrugged her shoulders at him, before he glanced at Dean again.  
  
“Well open it then.”  
  
Sam pulled the package of papers out of the envelope and started reading out loud as he let Eileen see the papers, “A two week cruise around the Hawaiian islands. Are you serious Dean? This is too much.”  
  
“I don’t want to hear it Sammy. Just go and enjoy yourselves alright. I want you to make some memories and come back home refreshed and happy. Please.”  
  
Dean grinned to himself as his brother came and wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug, Eileen joining in a second later. He let the hug last a little longer before shaking them both off him with an exasperated sigh, “Alright, enough with the chick flick stuff. Just say thank you and sit down.”  
  
“Thank you Dean. This is amazing.” Sam sat down reading over everything, Eileen leaning in to his side to read along with him.  
  
Dean looked up to see Jack waiting patiently with more gifts to pass around. When he turned to look at Cas he was surprised to see the fond look from earlier directed straight at him, “That was a very nice thing for you to do Dean.”  
  
He felt his face heat up but resisted the urge to look away from his friend, “They deserve it.”  
  
“You deserve good things too Dean, don’t forget that.”  
  
Unsure what to make of that he finally broke their eye contact, “Come on then Jack what’s next?”  
  
The next half an hour passed by quickly, they all ended up with useful everyday gifts. The only things lacking were gifts between Dean and Cas. He felt a little disheartened that Cas hadn’t even gotten him something mundane like he had for Sam and Eileen, but maybe this was what he deserved after all. He sat watching the festivities for a few minutes before making his decision, it was now or never. If he never tried he would never know.  
  
He eased his way out of his chair, and as everybody else started to stand as well he ushered them back into their seats, “Don’t go yet, I just need to fetch something.”  
  
He strolled out of the room before he could change his mind. Walking quickly and with purpose he headed to his bedroom and retrieved the box he had stashed under his pillow. He hadn’t wrapped it but he didn’t think that would matter.  
  
When he got back to the map room he sat back down and gulped the last of his coffee before gingerly placing the box on the table in front of him. All eyes were on him and he heard a quiet gasp from Eileen, before Sam spoke up, “Dean?”  
  
He scrubbed his hand over his face and took a big breath to calm his nerves, “Just let me get this out ok Sammy,” he turned his chair towards Cas, “Cas. Um. Shit I don’t, I don’t know where to start.” He sighed deeply. This was not going well so far.  
  
“This is, uh, you, you are. Dammit, you know I’m no good at all this feelings crap but. No that’s not right. I just don’t show the feelings I have. Yeh that’s better. I don’t show them well, and when I do it’s normally in life or death situations, or when something has gone wrong and I’m angry and I can’t keep it bottled up, and god Cas I am so fucking sorry. I know all I have done recently is take everything out on you but you’ve gotta understand man I don’t hate you. I never have. You mean more to me than just about anything else in my godforsaken life and I can’t lose you. Not again. I won’t survive that again. I need you here. No that’s not right. I want you here. With us. With me. I realise that this is a long shot, and that I have already probably blown any chance I ever had, but if by some absolute miracle you feel even half of what I feel then this is for you,” he nudged the box towards Cas who picked it up carefully before opening it, “and if you do, then I know this won’t ever be official. I mean I’m technically dead in the eyes of the law I guess, and well you, you don’t exactly exist. But it. It would be real for us, and anyone that matters to us would know and it would literally make me the happiest guy alive Cas. I love you. I have for a really, really long time. So yeh. Uh that’s, that’s it I guess.”  
  
He had curled in on himself whilst he was speaking so he didn’t see Cas place the box back on the table, but he sure heard it when he pushed his chair back and walked out of the room. Sam shouting after him.  
  
“Let him go Sam. It’s fine.”  
  
He stood up to leave himself when he was suddenly swamped in Eileen’s embrace. He couldn’t hold the waterworks in then, big shaking sobs escaped unbidden as he clung to her choking on his words, “I-I’m s-sorry for ruinin-ruining everything guys. I, I knew it w-was a long shot, but f-fuck I didn’t realise I h-had already lost him.”  
  
He felt Sam’s hand land on his shoulder, “Dean.”  
  
“Don’t Sammy please. I w-was an idiot.”  
  
Eileen pushed away from him and gently wiped the tears from his face. He tried to smile at her but it came out shaky, “Thanks Leen. I think I might just go back to bed. You guys alright to clear all this up?” Not waiting for an answer he turned to go and his breath got stuck in his throat, Cas was blocking his path, a look of frustration on his face.  
  
“I’m sorry Cas. I shouldn…”  
  
“Dean Winchester,” Cas interrupted him, “you are the most infuriating man that I know. You drive me crazy. You, you, argh, you confuse me and frustrate me more than anything ever has and sometimes all I want to do is send you back to hell, but I could never do that. You are annoying and sometimes rude, often times vulgar, you eat too much junk and you drink too much, you can be incredibly blind to what is happening around you even when you see more than most people do, but you are also the most caring person I have ever met. You say you don’t show your feelings well but I beg to differ, you show them every day, in all the small ways. You care so much about your family that it can cloud your judgement sometimes. But everything you do comes from the heart. When you love, you do it with everything you have, and, well I would be a fool to walk away from you, considering I have been in love with you for longer than I care to think about.” Cas held his hand out towards Dean, “I got this for you, back before, well before everything that happened, happened and I wasn’t sure if you would ever want it, but I wanted to try. I’m in this if you are?”  
  
Dean took the small box from Cas, almost unable to breathe at the weight of what this meant. He opened it slowly, still unsure, and shuddered out a breath when he saw what was inside. Where the ring that he had given Cas had been made from polished Walnut with White Gold and Jade inlays, this ring was Black Tungsten with a Sapphire inlay.  
  
He looked up at Cas, “Is this? Do you? Is this real?”  
  
Cas huffed a quiet laugh and reached for the box that he had left on the table, “Yes Dean. If you want it to be.”  
  
“Shit Cas. You have no idea.”  
  
Cas shook his head, “I think I do Dean.”  
  
He held the box out towards Dean, “Do you want to do the honours?”  
  
“Only if you do mine,” Dean’s voice was small and watery as he passed the box over to Cas and held his hand out for him, realising belatedly that he was shaking. A lot. He huffed as Cas took hold of his hand, calming his nerves as only Cas could do, and slid the ring onto his finger.  
  
He took a second to stare at his hand before Cas coughed pointedly. With a smile that could light up even the darkest of rooms he took Cas’ hand in his and gently slid the ring onto his finger in return.  
  
He let out a laugh at that, bending over and gripping his knees tight.  
  
“Are you ok Dean?”  
  
He waved Cas away, “Yeh just give me a minute. Bit lightheaded.”  
  
When he stood back up he looked at Cas, his best friend, his, well his husband now, his everything and he smiled, “I’m gonna kiss you now if that’s ok?”  
  
Cas beamed at him and nodded, “I would like that very much Dean.”  
  
Dean moved into Cas’ space, pressing his hands against Cas’ chest, resting their foreheads together. Cas hooked a finger under Dean’s chin tilting his head back up before placing a soft, sweet kiss against his lips. Dean sighed happily before leaning back in for another kiss, just as tender as the first.  
  
They only broke away from each other when Sam spoke up with a shit eating grin on his face, “Congratulations guys. We’re glad you finally got there.”  
  
“Hey shut up you. You guys will be next.” Dean waved a finger between Sam and Eileen causing Sam to break out in a blush.  
  
“I’m confused.”  
  
Everyone jumped and turned to look at Jack, he had been so quiet throughout the whole ordeal they had almost forgotten he was there.  
  
“What are you confused about Jack?” Cas asked with that adorable tilt to his head.  
  
Jack looked back and forth between Dean and Cas, “Well I’m very happy for you both of course, but I thought that you and Dean were already married.”


End file.
